Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Man I'm Tired...

Didn't get much sleep today. Was too exhausted from the pain and the sickness this morning, and then I was woken up by dad yelling. It appears that things with my brother are hitting him hard, but he hasn't learned to give up yet.

In the last blog, I promised to tell the story about why I consider myself to be an only child, and I guess, while I'm waiting for dinner to cook, my parents to get home, and the house to settle down, now is probably a good time.

My oldest brother lives about an hour away, and although he's my brother, I still haven't forgiven him for hurting my mother.

She lost everything in her storage when she wasn't able to pay the bill, and the only thing she had left of her father was the antique china buffet she'd asked to keep at his house so A) it wouldn't get damaged, and B) she wouldn't lose it to storage. When he was in the process of moving, he didn't tell her until 3 months after he did it, he decided to sell the china cabinet for $1,000. He said it was his property by right, and he needed the money. The fact that her parents had money and were letting them move into a house on their land kind of negates the last statement. He just didn't want to be bothered in moving it, and he's always been a selfish prick. Anything he could get away with stealing, he always did. Anyone who hurts my mother is not my family, whether they are blood or not.

My older sister lives in South Carolina, and she's done more than her fair share to earn my ousting. Yes, we still talk occasionally, but there is a lot of love lost between us.

When she was a teenager about to become an adult, she used my grandmother for her money, and then when she couldn't get anymore, she stole what she could and left town with her boyfriend. I never forgave her for that. When she was older, she had a baby by that same guy, and decided to give it up for adoption. Now don't get me wrong, I applaud her for doing that, but I cannot forgive the fact that she lied to the adoption agency about her parents not being alive, and not having any siblings. She's effectively cut us out of the kid's life. We're hoping this will be remedied later on, but my sister has always been persuasive when she's wanted to be. On top of this, when she moved back home after getting away from him,she treated me and my mom like shit, and then left town because we weren't rich enough for her. Fast forward years later, she's married and has a baby. The poor kid is on a one way fast track to having some major mental issues. For the first thing, she plans to breastfeed the kid, even when she's 3 years old, she refuses to feed her jar food because, "it contains sugar and the baby can develop a sweet tooth", which is what these "modern mothers" actually think, but what they forget is that humans NATURALLY crave sugar, which is why we like fruit. She insists on "carrying" her everywhere. She has this shoulders holster that allows her to carry her everywhere. She said she read on the WHO website that mothers do it all over the world, but what she forgets, the WHO stated that for third world countries, not here in the United States. Since that baby was born, she's made every excuse not to set her down or be away from her because of the psychological effects of giving up her first child. She says that the little one will puppy whine if she's away from her for too long, and that she's read on these modern mother websites that you're not supposed to teach them how to self soothe because it's damaging. She also publicly calls out anyone who disagrees with her. On top of this, she co-sleeps which is the most dangerous freaking thing you can do, and she's going to be a year old soon!

I'll get away form that topic before I go too far into a rant.

My older brother, (I am the baby of the family) is a complete wreck, and I'm not even joking. He fell 40 feet while rock climbing without a rope and busted his ankle so bad, he had to have a plate and screws. He got fired from an internship for a racial remark. He had to have surgery on his shoulder because he was working construction carrying a heavy concrete pipe and when the other guy dropped his end, it bounced and came down on my brother's shoulder. He was told not to do anything with it, to let it heal, but he's messed it up so bad now, he can barely use it. He's trying to get a lawsuit going against the places he's worked, and the original company he hurt it at, even though they gave him a settlement the first time, and paid for his surgery. He's also a crap parent. He broke up a happy family with his first marriage, and even though it brought my sweet nephew into the world, he treated them all so badly, she had to leave and divorce him. Now he gets every other weekend visits, and even then, my nephew has to go back home and have to work again at being good because he picks up bad habits. He even has anger and control issues. We're hoping, in a small way, that he ends up not being able to see my brother so he can grow up right. His second kid was forcefully taken from him because he almost killed him. He was raised with my brother's birth mother and is now being raised by her widower. He's had visits with him, but even he has had to go through counseling because of the genetic issues. His third and hopefully kid Liam is autistic, which he calls him everyday, "my little autistic boy", and does nothing to help him. He hasn't gotten him seen, he hasn't taken him to a specialist, he yells and scares the life out of the kid, as well as his wife's two kids from previous relationships. We just recently found out my brother is a pill addict too. He gets sick from the medication and tries to lie, saying he caught a stomach virus. He's high around the kids, verbally and mentally abusive, and it's going to come down to my brother being forcibly removed from the house. She's told him to leave, but he won't. He's also going to go to jail for non payment of child support, and I for one will not stand on his side and fight for him. After the way he used to physically hurt me, and the way he still treats my mom like crap, I won't do it.

That's why I've washed my hands of all of them. It just isn't worth it to keep them in my life when they hurt the ones I love. And, I have to say, I'm proud of myself.

Dinner is now done. Will write later if I'm up to it.

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