The symptoms have been horrible, but I feel that I'm ready to talk about it, because, if I'm correct, then I know the cause and I can try to treat it.
I am currently suffering from PSAS (Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome)/ It's also known as PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome).
For some, this may sound like something wonderful, but trust me it isn't. In my clitoris region, I feel like I'm turned on all the time, and some days, it peaks so bad, that unless I get off two times in a row, I can't rest easy or even sit. I've barely been sleeping at all over the past two weeks, and it doesn't make me a pleasant person to be around. I usually fall asleep at 6 or 7am, sometimes even 9 or 10, and then I get up around 3pm and start my day. I'm hoping that my assumptions are correct, and the course of treatment I've found will be effective so I don't have to see the OBGYN on the 24th. If it also works, I'll be able to have some sort of control over the symptoms, but this is only day one, so I don't know how bad they're going to peak over the next few days. I just know that the night before this one was the worst.
You may be asking what I could have taken to make this happen. Truth be told, for three years, I've been taking over the counter generic Dramamine to help me sleep. Dramamine is about the same as Benadryl, in the fact that it is an antihistamine. When you take antihistamines on a continual basis, it affects your dopamine levels, causing them to go higher and pretty soon, your body gets used to it. I think this is what has caused my PSAS symptoms.
If I'm correct about this, then the diet regimen I have placed myself on should fix this. I'm drinking hot and cold green teas, as well as taking a Ginko Biloba supplement, and, of course, having a small bit of chocolate when I feel it peak so that, even for a moment, it calms down and becomes manageable. At the time it is now, I have to wait 3 more hours before I can take another supplement. For now, all I can do is keep my distracted until the time passes.
I was also taking Benadryl to help me sleep during the times the nausea pills failed me, and I think this has also contributed to this condition. Here's hoping I'm right and I can fix this easily. I did a ton of research last night, chasing one end and then another. It's so far led me to here.
The last time I had this was in 2012 and it was a reaction to a mood stabilizer called Lamictal. Once I stopped taking it, the symptoms stopped. I haven't been bothered since, so I think it's safe to say that it's caused by a medication, even though it isn't prescription.
I'm going to post as often as I can because, truth be told, I need an outlet. I have to have a place to voice all of this, especially if it turns out this doctor doesn't listen to what I have to say, but I feel safer talking to him because he's going through a study of women who have it, so he doesn't think like everyone else does that it's all in my head, and that ties up a loose end for me because when I first had this, I told a doctor what was happening. He told me it was all in my head, and ended up sending me, against my will, to a mental facility. Thankfully, they didn't take me because I wasn't a danger to myself or anyone else, and I think they knew I wasn't crazy. PSAS/PGAD isn't a mental disorder by any means. It's entirely a physical one, and they're doing studies to see what the causes might be. If the Dramamine combined with the Benadryl end up being the reason, I will write this down and give it to the doctor to use for his study. I will do everything to help other women get through this. If it isn't, I'm going to ask for an MRI and a CT Scan to check for Tarlov Cysts (cysts on the spine), and for the possibility of a kidney stone/ovarian cyst that may be causing this. I have two friends (they are actually a couple), who tell me when they had a kidney stone, they had this happen too.
I also need to vent because I am scared this may be permanent, and I don't think I can handle it.
The other night got so bad I got in touch with the Suicide Prevention Chat Line because I was scared of what I might be capable of. The chat representative, Ian, was very kind, very understanding, and helped me to take a deep breath, step back from the situation, and even find a smile. I have a few other friends trying their best to help, even a women studying to a pharmacologist who has been MORE than understanding. She's also helping me to get through the Bean Boozled Challenge (as it turns out, I ordered Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, which I found out, was not the right one for the challenge. It turns out, Jelly Belly actually has a brand called Bean Boozled, and by the time I realized it, I couldn't cancel the order. So, being the outstanding person she is, ordered the right kind for me, and even chipped in a kick ass dispenser, so now I'll have two videos to do, and I can use the beans for payback when my dad gives me grief about my hair *insert evil, maniacal laughter*).
I can see the deep blue beginning to rise outside the window. 6:07am, and I'm tired, but I can't sleep because those feelings keep washing over me. I'm exhausted but I know I won't sleep. Not yet anyway.
But thank you to all of you for listening. I hope it helps you in some way. If not, I hope you at least got a glimpse into a life where uncertainty rules, but strength wins out.
My love to you all.
-The Novelist
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