I sit here, in so much pain that I can't sleep, can't eat, can't drink, and I think back to all the times I should have just done the right thing, and all I can do is kick myself for being so idiotic.
When we are younger, we have a specific set of guidelines that we follow, and we are told it's for our own good. We don't believe it, of course, because you never see, either on television or in books, what can happen later on in life if you don't follow those rules.We take that time for granted, and as we get older, and we still don't see the repercussions, we think we are invincible, and therefore we continue with the destructive behavior.
If I could, I would go back to the ten year old me, and have a sit down about all the things we are going to do wrong and when, and make sure I didn't come back to this point.
Three days ago I landed in the ER again. I was in so much pain, running a high fever, with nausea, dehydration, and a rapid heart rate, and I felt nothing but fear and self loathing because all of it could have been avoided had I only listened.
I have known for some time that one of my teeth was rotting out, and I knew that the one behind it was slowly following suit, but it was at the top, near the roots. I had some pain while eating, but I told myself that if it was only while I ate, then it was fine, so I kept going with not brushing or flossing. Now, I'm paying for it.
They gave gave me fluids and anti-nausea medication that worked like a charm. However, they gave me two 5-300 Norco's that did NOTHING to kill the pain. Every time I walked to the bathroom because my body was using diarrhea to try and get rid of the infection, every time I lowered my head, raised my head, tilted my head, the pain was unbearable. Not being dentists, there wasn't much they could do. They gave me nothing else for pain, but sent me home with two prescriptions; one an antibiotic called Clindamyacin 300mg capsules, and the other Tylenol with Codeine. However, I have never been able to take any medication with Codeine so I have been without pain medication except for Pain Aids that have Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Caffeine, and a couple other ingredients. It does nothing tohelp. Heat doesn't help to kill it, cold doesn't help to kill it. I can brush my teeth but it doesn't stop it. Whiskey doesn't help, cloves don't help, nothing does. I have refused to take my parent's Methadone pill that they've offered because I don't like high narcotics. I am afraid of anything I can become addicted to.
Because of all this, I have lost out on sleep, and the antibiotic in and of itself isn;t the safest one around. You have to be on the lookout for c-diff, a dangerous form of diarrhea that you can get from taking this, and I can still get it after taking the antibiotic, and it sometimes requires hospitalization to treat. If you get a rash after the first dose, and you take a second dose, the second one can kill you. It's a very grade, powerful antibiotic, but it has thankfully knocked out my fever. It sometimes stops the pain, but sometimes not. I have to remember to eat, but there are times I just don't want to. You have to be very careful with this medication, and with my anxiety on high because of the antibiotic,it doesn't help.
It makes me so tired I can't function, if I don't eat first it makes me sick, and the taste it leaves in my mouth is so awful, I have to take to sucking on mints and candies to try to fight it. I now have a stock of watermelon, root beer, and wint-o-green candies to suck on.
I haven't been able to do YouTube and it's taken a small toll on my creativity. I'm trying to sleep as much as I can and snack so my body doesn't turn against itself.
If I can impart anything here, for any age of reader it's this; take care of your body. Brush your teeth twice a day, floss, and at the first sign of trouble, GO TO THE DOCTOR! I have to wait 3 more days before I can try to find a dentist, but I'm going to find one fast to help. I can;t go through this everyday. I have to be signed up for college before the 17th of August and I don't want to go to class with this problem. I won't be able to handle it.
It's time for to lay back down. I have to wait until 10:30pm to take the next dose, and until then, I just have to try to survive the pain and find the ability to rest.
This is the worst thing I have ever allowed happen to myself, and I'm going to work to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment