What Most People Don't Understand

There's a thing that most don't understand about people with recurring illnesses; we also reach a breaking point, and more than half the time, there's no one who understands, so we battle on alone.

Right now, my IBS isn't the problem. I do not know what is going on, but I can't stand it.

I'm having those strange symptoms that I experienced not even a month ago, only this time, I have no one here whom I can get to help me, and even if there was, they wouldn't understand it because they've never had it.

* Full bodied weakness (recurring)
* Feeling faint
* Feeling like I'm running a fever
* Nausea (recurring)

My parents have embarked on a week long trip to South Carolina and it's frighteningly that I'm  going through this alone, but then again, they've never understood thus far. All that keeps running through my head is, "What if I pass out?", as my body keeps wanting to do. "What if I end up in the hospital?", which I can't afford to do because there will be no one else to look after them. I'm downing whatever I have in my possession, and I'm hoping this fades soon enough. I hate feeling like this, with no way to get any kind of help for it.

I draw on your strength, readers, because I have none from anywhere else.

I want to cry, curl up in a ball, beg for someone to come, but there's no one. I'm staying strong, but these illnesses always get me down, always tear into me. I never know what may happen, or what's going to be revealed. I keep holding onto the thought that one day this all will fade, and I can go back to being as carefree as I once was, but that's proving to not be the case.

I'm just going to have to accept that this is the norm.

We need as much love and care as the next person, sometimes more so, because after a while we lose heart of ever getting over it. We get scared of the, "what if", the inevitable, "results", and the endless trips to doctors and hospitals. We just want to be like every one else, but there's nothing we can do about it.

I'm so tired right now. All I want to do is sleep.

I'm going to give it my best shot.

Please, lend me your support, and you'll always have mine.

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